The Day of Departure
There are so many thoughts that are bursting through my mind. I feel so many feelings varying from anxiety, happiness and excitement. This is the first time in a very long time that I’ve been away from my real world responsibilities for two weeks.
While I was packing last night I had to make many decisions on the clothing I would wear and how I could present myself. While here in Wisconsin there are so many decisions that we can make in the clothing we wear, but in San Fransisco the possibilities are endless. There are so many times that in Wisconsin that I find myself questions the clothing I wear, “Is it too gay looking?,” “You can’t see my identity right!?”.
As a gay polygamous male, I find myself struggling to find a puzzle to fit into, many gay individuals in Wisconsin are closed minded and lesson open to the practice of polyamory. I often find myself questioning that component of my identity as I’ve never seen it in practice in rural Eau Claire, Wisconsin. I find myself asking questions and I often times feel as an annoyance to many others.
As we embark on our trip to San Fransisco I am hopeful to be able to explore my identity, explore clothing options, and be in a community that authenticity embraces LGBTQIA identities.
This trip I think I have been longing for my whole life, to be in a atmosphere that I feel like I belong. I’m nervous that I won’t fit in, however, I hope I can be part of peoples stories, and hope as I’m embracing a world of change they accept me for who I am.
Embarking on new spaces does not come as a challenge to me, but this is different. San Fransisco embodies so much diverse and rich cultural. The challenge I am embracing is taking a leap of faith, embracing the world of change, difference, and love.
San Fransisco is the dream I have been longing for, for so many years. I am full anticipating the opportunity connect with my identity, get a fresh breathe of air, and love our world full of happiness, and integrity.
Ready or not, here I come San Francisco!