Fulfillment

We are well into the trip and already past halfway with only about four days left. It has been incredible to say the least! For about the first week, I was in disbelief that this trip was so long, and I was so fortunate to have so much time left in San Francisco. Now, suddenly, we’re discussing plans for pride and our travel day home at the conclusion of the trip. It’s a little disheartening but it’s caused me to begin reflecting on and appreciating the experience altogether.

I have been so fortunate to make the most of these two weeks. I feel like I have been able to experience and see nearly everything that I’ve wanted to before arriving! Among the dozens of films, I’ve enjoyed getting to hike hills and peaks, see famous San Francisco monuments, find some delicious food and coffee, and create some incredibly strong and meaningful relationships with the other folks on this trip. 

Around the third or fourth day, I took it upon myself to go on a solo hike/workout to Twin Peaks to have some alone time and it was incredibly impactful and needed. I ended up getting a coffee and sitting atop Twin Peaks for quite a while, grounding myself and having my first moment to step back from everything and everyone in California. This was much-needed self-care that I think set me up for a meaningful and enjoyable trip so far. I sat there reflecting on how and why I am here. I thought about Valencia and my first experience with a prideful community. I thought about Alex, my late roommate who taught me how to be proud of who and what I am—anywhere. I thought about my family and how lucky I’ve been to have their support and be a source of pride for all of them. I thought about my incredible boyfriend who showed me what it means to be a loving partner. I thought about my plethora of opportunities in college thus far and how I’ve embraced myself in so many ways and discovered and shown pride in myself. Although none of these things directly caused me to be a part of this cohort or trip, they all certainly played a part in me trusting and challenging myself to be a part of this amazing immersion. 

The films that I have seen since arriving here have only strengthened the appreciation and understanding I have for all these complexities that have so greatly affected my life. I have laughed and cried through so many amazing–and some not so amazing–films that have reflected or paralleled some aspects of my life. I had incredibly deep thoughts and conversations with myself and others on this trip about friendship, parenthood, partnership, family, sexuality, and life in general.  I can’t wait to see the remaining films, grow closer with the folks here with me, explore more of the city, and continue growing into a more confident and unapologetically queer person.

I cannot wait to bring these films home and share them with all of the people who are have been so important to me and allow these films to provoke such meaningful conversations back home with these people as well. 

These experiences and films have beenare so meaningful and impactful to me in such immediate ways that I truly feel I have no choice but to feel appreciative, grateful, and fulfilled.