A Good Kind of Nervous
As I am writing this, there are five days until we leave for San Francisco. Every day that passes by makes me even more excited for the trip. I have never been to San Francisco before, but I have traveled across the country and visited 17 states so far. I absolutely love traveling. I love exploring new cities, learning more about their historic landmarks, and finding incredible shops and restaurants to go to. All these new experiences are what traveling is about, and it’s one of the main reasons why I am so excited to go to San Francisco. Even with all of this excitement, I can’t help but feel nervous. It will be my first time traveling without my family and my first time in San Francisco. So, as someone who loves to make lists, I’ve made a list of things I can expect to happen during these new experiences.
1. I’ll figure out how to navigate the city.
San Francisco is HUGE. I keep reminding myself that I have been to new cities before, like Eau Claire, and I’ve found my way around. While Eau Claire is definitely not as big as San Francisco, it was still new to me my freshman year. It took getting used to, as any city does, and over time I felt at home. Two weeks in the city is a lot different than two years, but I know by the end, I will feel confident in San Francisco. There’s something that seems so different about San Francisco. I definitely won’t be able to walk around the whole city like I am (mostly) able to do in Eau Claire. Even with this, I’m excited to get up each day and try to explore new streets of San Francisco and see what I can find. My favorite part about exploring a new city is walking around. As corny as it sounds, I think it’s the best way to learn more about a new city. There is so much more to be found than the typical spots found in the “Top Ten Things to Do in This City”. I might not be a pro at navigating San Francisco by the end of the trip, but I’ll at least know where all of the cool theaters that I saw the films at are.
2. I’ll learn more about my own identity as a queer person.
While I am in San Francisco, I will be attending my first ever Pride Parade. I have never had the chance to be a part of a Pride Parade or any LGBTQ+ related march. I’ll be surrounded by so many queer people, which will be a little new for me. Growing up, I had quite a few queer friends, but I never felt comfortable with my identity and always felt like I had to explain myself. It has changed during my time here at Eau Claire, where I have met many other queer people and gotten more perspective about who I am. Because of not feeling comfortable around others, I sometimes haven’t shared all aspects of my identity with people. When I am surrounded by other queer people in San Francisco, I don’t think I will feel like I have to hide who I am. I can embrace my identity and feel confident in it. I think the films will definitely help with this. I’ll be watching queer films with queer characters, written by (hopefully mostly) queer people. There is something so special about this that makes me get giddy with excitement. Media is such a powerful tool in exploring one’s identity, and I cannot wait to see myself and my friends represented on screen.
3. I will step outside of my comfort zone.
I am someone who likes to step outside of my comfort zone but also likes having that comfort zone there just in case. Trying new things can be nerve-wracking. I can usually tell when it’s a good kind of nervous or the not-so-good kind, and I know for certain that these nerves are the good kind. The first day might be a little nerve-wracking and that is completely okay. First-day jitters come with any new experience – I even felt nervous for the first Q-Fest intern meeting we had. After I went through it, it was even more amazing than I thought it would be. While I won’t be able to know every place that I’ll visit or how I’ll react to a certain film, I know that if I go into it with an open mindset, I’ll get the most out of the experience. I’ll be able to hear stories from people standing in line for the film I’m about to see, learn about the queer history of San Francisco, and even think about the politics within the state of California and how it is affecting San Francisco.
While my nervousness may come and go throughout the first few days, I know my excitement for this new adventure will help me make the most out of the next two weeks. I can’t wait for San Francisco! <3
