San Francisco as Explored Through Gifts
I don’t really believe in the idea of love languages, but if I did then I believe mine would be gift giving. I take a lot of pride in my ability to find thoughtful gifts for people I care about. Q-Fest seemed like the perfect opportunity to get my friends and family some California-themed gifts, especially since most of them have never been to San Francisco before. I bought gifts for A LOT of people last year, and while I certainly don’t regret getting all those gifts, the experience has encouraged me to seriously reflect on my gift giving habit.
During my first trip to San Francisco, it’s no exaggeration to say that half of my spending money was used solely to purchase gifts for people. Like I said, most of the people I was getting gifts for had never been to San Francisco, so I wanted to make sure everyone got something memorable. Honestly, I feel like I spent most of the trip just worrying about what I was going to get everyone. That on top of my group project, my films, and all my other responsibilities kind of made the trip feel tedious at times. It’s for this reason that this year I decided to use more of my money for myself.
Even though I had less spending money this year than I did last year, I feel like I was able to get more out of my money this time around. I still bought gifts for other people, but you better believe I bought the best gifts for myself. I’m not a materialistic person by any means, but I genuinely love everything that I bought for myself and I’m really happy that I allowed myself to spend money on things I knew would make me happy. I know that doesn’t really sound like much of an accomplishment, but for me it’s pretty major.
Before, during, and after my first trip to San Francisco, I was spreading myself so thin trying to be everything for everyone. I was like a little car driving up a steep hill, despite all the signs telling me to stop, I just kept trucking along. I was running on fumes 24/7, and I just kept piling on responsibilities one after the other. From November of last year ‘til the end of the Spring semester, I’ve been living and working under constant stress with almost no time to rest. As soon as I finished one task, I immediately had three more to deal with. I needed a break, and Q-Fest was the perfect opportunity.
As I was preparing for Q-fest, I made a promise to myself that I would start treating myself like a priority. I’m going to be graduating college, I don’t need to add any more unnecessary stress to my life. I still want to help people where I can, but I really need to remind myself that “can” doesn’t always mean “should.” No one is meant to take on every task by themselves, and any task can be achieved if people work together. It is often said that rest is a radical action, and it wasn’t until recently that I took this mentality to heart.
Needing rest does not make me a bad person or a selfish person, it makes me human. Yes, the San Francisco trip is a major responsibility, but it’s also a chance to relax and take in the beauty that is the San Francisco experience. I’m grateful that I was awarded this incredible opportunity not once, but twice. Each trip to San Francisco was simultaneously challenging and personally rewarding. And most importantly, these trips have reminded me that it's ok to stop and smell the roses every once and a while. Even if those roses do smell like weed and pee.
