Building Community For Now and Beyond
Something that has surprised me that I did not expect to happen on this trip while in San Francisco is building as strong of relationships as I have. Although I had good relationships with everyone prior to boarding our flight, I did not feel as close to many of the folks on this trip as I do now- and I certainly did not expect it to be my favorite aspect of this trip.
Whether I have sat in the living room with others until two in the morning, or I have walked to a film with a small group of the cohort, we have laughed, cried, and have made some amazing memories that has helped me learn more about everyone on this trip on a deeper level. What has been the most impactful part of becoming close with the rest of this group is how much joy has come from being able to laugh with other queer people without the fear of being “too loud” or “too expressive”. Being in public spaces in Eau Claire sometimes has its barriers for queer people without it being purposeful- at least that is what it feels like for me at times. In San Francisco, it feels like a big weight has been lifted off of my shoulders, just being able to connect with other folks like me that can relate to experiences that most other people in my life can’t. What has been so special about this trip with the folks that I am surrounded with here is we all bring the best parts of ourselves out of each other and lift each other up when we need it.
As fun as this trip is, and as amazing as the films we have watched have been, it has become taxing at times to be in a good mindset after watching a movie that relates to any part of the queer experience relating to trauma. Being able to talk through the films with other students in our group and being in a space that is comfortable and safe to talk about how the aspect of each film relates to our own trauma has been the most comforting part of this experience. I keep imagining watching some of what I have watched alone, and just thinking about that puts a huge pit in my stomach. I’m so happy other people on this trip are as passionate about having in depth conversations about the films as I am.
Why was I so nervous about getting along with everyone on this trip prior? And why does that person feel like a different version of myself from years ago? I hope the other folks from this cohort have learned as much from me as I have learned from them. Each person from this trip has taught me how to be a more confident, better, and most importantly, queerer version of myself. Most of all, I have learned how to love myself for who I am and my identity. Back in Eau Claire, I thought that I had to hide aspects of myself and my identity, and not once have I felt that here. Although I don’t believe it will, I hope that doesn’t change when we return home.
As cheesy as this sounds, I hope these friendships with the members of this cohort last outside of this trip- at the very least, I hope they still continue to grow when we all return to Eau Claire. Some of the folks in our group are already talking about hosting screener parties. Just thinking about that gets me excited to start the process of choosing our films. Most of all, I’m excited to build a program with our cohort for other students to attend. I’m excited to bring some of what I have experienced back with us and create an engaging, fun, and queer centered event for other students. That, for me, will be the most rewarding part of this entire process- and I can’t wait to see what our group comes up with.
