We Leave Tomorrow

We leave tomorrow. Tonight, is my last night sleeping in the loft of this AMAZING condo with truly some of the best people.

I remember when I got Chris’s “Congratulations, you’re going to San Francisco!”. After I submitted my application, I waited anxiously for any updates regarding its status. When the email finally came, I was sitting in my car about to drive to my hometown for a few days. I read it and immediately started sharing the news and celebrating. I smiled the whole drive home.

Before our first meeting I knew of everyone going on the trip, but I found comfort in knowing that my close friend Emily was also going on the trip. I was so excited to get to know everyone better. It’s funny to think about how some of our paths crossed before this internship. For example, Josh was my resident assistant my freshman year. If you told me when I was an anxious freshman that I would be going to San Francisco with my old RA and 11 other people, I would not believe you. In December I went on the Civil Rights Pilgrimage where I learned lots and had an amazing time. On that trip I started hanging out with Deyne. However, at that time, we did not know we were both interns together, and it wasn’t until I mentioned that I was going to San Francisco that summer that we realized we would both be going.

One of the questions I got most one this trip was “what has been your favorite part so far?” and my answer pretty much every single time was, “I love just hanging out with everyone and walking back and forth along Castro Street (it’s not a long street).” Most nights, a group of us would stay up until 1 in the morning just talking. Those nights were my favorite. In particularly, tonight, the last night. We spent the night singing and dancing our hearts out to Just Dance and karaoke videos we found on YouTube. Don’t get me wrong, I loved the boat ride, going to the redwoods etc. But I will give anything for just one more night in this fabulous city with some of my best friends.

I remember during our pre-trip meetings it felt like no one was connecting with each other. For the most part we all knew one or two people but as a group we didn’t really vibe. We went to the meetings, we talked business, and we left. I was kind of disappointed because I was excited to get really close to this new group of people. As soon as we all met up on June 14th, it was like we had been friends for years and it stayed that way throughout the whole two weeks. We quickly moved out of the “honeymoon phase” and into bullying each other (with love of course).

On campus in Eau Claire, I surround myself with a lot of queer people. However, I have never been surrounded by as much queer joy as I was on this trip. During the Q&A after Queer as Folk, one of the writers said something that really stuck with me. She said that she didn’t know how to write queer stories without some kind of trauma because so many queer stories involve trauma. I think that is definitely true, but over the last two weeks it was our shared experiences and shared traumas as queer people that brought us close to each other. Somehow it brought us all queer joy. Every single person brought a new perspective to this trip, and each contributed to this experience in insurmountable ways, and for that I thank each and every one of them for making these two weeks unforgettable.

It’s incredible to think about how much a person can change in just two weeks, but I feel like a whole new person. I came into this trip hoping to find myself and explore my identities. I am very proud to say that I think I was successful. I am a proud multifaceted, queer, nonbinary, fat person who doesn’t care what other people think of them. On top of just learning more about who I am as a person, I learned so much about the meaning of family, both chosen and biological. I am excited to strengthen my relationships with my siblings and parents and not back away from tough, important conversations.

I laughed, I cried, I made mistakes, I saw a lot of penises (with and without socks on them), I saw amazing films and so much more. I can’t believe the first part of this experience ends tomorrow, but I am incredibly excited to bring back our experiences to Eau Claire!

Goodbye San Francisco., I will be back.