First Journal Blurbs
Writing in my Notebook
I spilled tea on this notebook before I left. The last time I was writing in it, I was drinking a hot glass of chamomile tea with honey. It was sitting on the edge of my desk, in my favorite mug. My favorite mug means so much to me. It has snails on it. I call it my snug (snail mug). I wish I had spilled coffee on my notebook because it would have looked cooler. Coffee stains have that beautiful shade of brown that would have mixed well with my black ink and thoughts. Instead, I have a yellowish blue hued stain, the blues of the ink showing through the nearly opaque tea. I skipped a couple pages to avoid the big blotchy spots for my new writings.
On Illness and Travel
My throat hurts, my body aches, I have coughed a lot already. Luckily, every COVID test has been negative. I can’t help but feel upset by this. Swallowing dry gravel would feel better than the way my throat feels right now. I wanted this trip to be perfect, the only trials to come in ways I could easily overcome. The hard parts of travel are what make you grow, and I know that difficulties build character, but I feel the urge to wallow. To sit and whine and cry would be so cathartic right now. Engaging with that side of myself while here could be hurtful though, and I do not want to waste my time rotting when I could be outside living and experiencing.
Peace, Serenity, & City Life
I am sitting outside with my breakfast today, toast with hummus and a large glass of sleepytime tea with extra honey. I understand the irony of waking up with a glass of ‘sleepytime’ tea. I think it's funny. I love it here. I love the city noise. Birds chirping and chattering, dogs barking, car horns in the distance, wind in the trees and bushes. The constant sonic backdrop makes me appreciate the silent moments a thousand times more. Sitting here staring at the cloud formations and watching the birds and planes pass by is so calming. I want to spend more time like this while I am here. Just resting, observing, and reflecting. My favorite conversations so far have been with Em, Erin, Jacksen, and Jay. I really appreciate hearing the thoughts of the quieter people on the trip.
Gratitude + People
I am extremely thankful for Kyle Whipple on this trip. He supports all of us here so naturally, with little check ins and quiet moments of comfortable silence. You can really tell he's a dad, and a good one at that. The “How’s it going?” and “How are you?” moments have made me feel so safe and supported. Thank you Kyle!
Erin contains multitudes. From eating lemons to showing animals, everything I learn about Erin feels like something out of a fun fact book, they are extremely unique and I love that about them. The way they stay true to their emotions, and don’t feel afraid to cry or show emotion is something I really admire, it’s so hard to show emotions and not feel bad about it.
Em is similarly mysterious, and fun to get to know. They have a really cheeky sense of humor, and I appreciate their thoughts on the films because we have often disagreed. I want to get to know them more, and I hope to keep unlocking parts of them as I earn their trust and friendship.
Jay is so goofy and excited, and I appreciate having someone as earnestly into slugs as me on this trip. Having known him in the past, I love seeing how he’s growing, and learning about the difference in experience from things we went through together.
The explosion of kindness and joy I see from Parker is beautiful. He is true to himself, goofy and kind. It’s so nice to have someone in the cohort who cares about others so deeply. The cream cheese incident will stick with me especially as a testament to his genuine kindness.
Deyne continues to surprise me with his insight and thoughtful takes on the films we have seen. I really hope I can sit and talk about films with him sometime. He also is just a lovely person! He’s got so many good jokes in his head, and every time he speaks, it's not just to fill space. It's for a reason, to make a point.
Jacksen is similarly lovely. He’s so true to himself, which is something that's hard to find in someone around our age. I learn so much from listening to him, and he always has really great energy about the things he is passionate about.
Josh is so capable, and I love seeing him being himself and experiencing the city. I am typing this on his laptop, so I will also say I appreciate his willingness to share and support others. He is a great facilitator of various groups.
Jordan is growing so much while we’re here, it's been so cool to see him try new things and be open to experiencing so many new things.
Emily is so filled with joy! They make me think of sunflowers and I think our group that went to the Japanese gardens will become one of my favorite memories from the trip. They have such radiant energy, and I hope I continue to see her shine during and after our time in San Francisco.
Kallie saying “I don’t want Maggie to describe me while I'm not in the room” really made me laugh, and made me realize I may need to tone down my sass. I appreciate her thoughts as someone who’s been on the trip before. She’s also amazing at taking beautiful photos and videos of all of us who are in the cohort. I expect that 70% or more of the website bio photos will have been taken by Kallie.
Chris is so incredibly knowledgeable about the area, and his intellect has been so very helpful. I appreciate that both Chris and Kallie have been lax about where we all are in space and in time. Being micromanaged could have made this trip hellish, but the amount of free reign we have has really made me appreciate my independence and ability to navigate whatever life throws at me.
Finishing Up
I really look forward to getting to know the more unfamiliar members of the cohort, and I am so excited to see them grow and change as we go through this experience together. I still haven’t seen many cats, but I think I will be able to make it to a cat cafe before I leave, which is super exciting. I am submitting this journal on Friday 6/24 around noon. We have three days left including today. I have more to say and feel and experience, but that will be in my second journal!
