My Experience in San Francisco
Doing this immersion has taught me many things about myself. If I had not applied to Q-Fest and instead stayed in Eau Claire this summer, I would be a different person. Anyone who goes on any type of immersion most likely feels this way, but I think Q-Fest is different than the other immersions where you spend a semester or a month in a foreign country. Those are no doubt impactful, but going on an immersion specific to queer students is transformative to their understanding of self and queer identity. Or at least it was for me.
To live for two weeks right by Castro Street where you see pride flags hung everywhere was beautiful. I am normally extremely nervous in cities; navigating them is overwhelming and stresses me out considerably. I even got nervous in Eau Claire my first year while looking at shops with friends. But because of the amount of support I felt in San Francisco due to the visibility of queer pride, I felt I could take my time, and it didn’t matter so much if I made a mistake or took the wrong turn. That does not mean I was never stressed out, though. It is a giant city! But it was also important for my growth to be able to solve my own problems.
I have never traveled without my parents. And while I was not alone while traveling, we were more on our own than I had ever been. And I think that was really good for me. Now that I am back home, I have felt considerably more comfortable being independent. I am less nervous about driving or just going to places by myself. Which sounds kind of silly since I am 20 years old, but without this trip pushing me I think I would still be anxious doing things alone. This is something that a lot of people most likely experience with any type of immersion trip and it is great!
While in San Francisco I started using they/he pronouns. I do not know when I would have experimented more with my pronouns if I had not gone on this trip. I may have gotten to it eventually, but knowing myself, that could have been years from now. Knowing that I would have the support and safety of the cohort really helped me make this leap. I am still figuring out my gender and that is okay! It can be difficult to try out new things even if you know all your friends are accepting. I am a very private person and really hated the idea of asking someone to try pronouns that I did not know if I would enjoy or not. But, for me at least, it was useful. Being vulnerable is uncomfortable for most people, but if whoever is reading this is also exploring their gender, I do think it is worth it.
My experience with being aroace in San Francisco was great overall! But I was disappointed there was not more ace representation in the city. In retrospect it makes sense. Asexual and aromantic communities were (for the most part) organized online, and we are a fairly new identity! AVEN (Asexual Visibility and Education Network) was founded by David Jay in 2001. This event marks the beginning of asexual communities online (not that we didn’t exist before, this simply allowed us to more easily connect with one another). While that does not mean that there should not be more asexual and aromantic visibility in San Francisco, I think it is understandable why there was not. But once again, there does need to be more aromantic and asexual visibility going forward.
The Q-Fest immersion in San Francisco has taught me many things. I learned to be more confident, explored my gender in a free environment, and while frustrated with the lack of aroace representation, can understand why it is that way and I believe it will change in the future.
