Maybe 81 Wasn’t Enough…
In my last blog, I talked about how I was feeling about being in the big city of San Francisco. However, for this blog, I want to talk about just how important films are, especially queer films.
Immediately after writing my last blog, I watched Lesbian Space Princess. This film was an animated comedy with a rich story. Afterward, I had the chance to talk with the director and gain a deeper understanding of the film and the experience of creating an animated movie with such a small team (only 12 people throughout the project). It was cool to learn about the process of writing the script and animating it at the same time. Especially considering that animation studios usually get an IP and spend 4-8 years working on just that one series.
In total, I’ve watched 81 films… gulp… 22 of which were full-length, and 59 were short films (ranging from 3 to 28 minutes). One of my favorite parts of attending this film festival was watching the Frameline 49 intro before each film. I was literally conditioned by it, and my brain thought, “It's time to lock in,” each time it played. “If we just scream at our screens, we will forget what it means, I am flesh, I am blood, I am down in the mud, to protect all the things I believe in (I believe in)” – Change Has to Come, by Mo’ju. This song has been playing on repeat in my head all week. During this immersion, I have learned just how vital filmmaking is. Even if a director or writer puts effort into creating a film, I believe it needs to have the opportunity to be shown on a screen at some point. Through all the films I saw during this immersion, I saw some of the best, most well-crafted films of my entire life, as well as some of the worst, which I wish I could take back time for. However, that way of thinking is what separates us from one another. The point of watching these films isn’t to watch a 10/10 film every time, it’s to feel the emotions of what the film is curating for you.
Before this immersion began, I thought I would grow tired of films and stop wanting to attend certain ones due to my previous way of thinking. To combat this feeling, I did not read any of the descriptions before picking the films and chose purely based on name and times so that I could make it to each theatre at least once. Through doing this, I met many people and saw a wide range of films. It’s genuinely been crazy looking back at all the films I’ve watched and just how diverse the selection was.
Aside from all the films I had the opportunity to watch, I also had the fantastic chance to attend the Trans March and the iconic San Francisco Pride. Both of these events were crazy; it truly felt like I was on another planet, a place completely free of judgment. I can honestly say that in my entire life, I have never been in a space where it is 100% non-judgmental. I saw so many different types of people who all wanted the same thing: to be able to love who or what they want, free of judgment. That’s what I believe pride is. It’s about everyone having equal rights, no matter the background or history. Everyone deserves a spot at the table. And the fact that saying this could be considered controversial is fucking insanity.
This immersion has been a blessing in helping us truly understand just how much we don’t understand about one another. One thing that I found myself saying more and more throughout the trip was “I don’t understand why people yuck each other's yums. Even if they don’t understand it, why can they not respect it?” Though, I suppose that’s part of the reason there is so much hate towards us. We were taught, when we were younger, not to hang out with someone else because “they’ll make you look bad,” or maybe that’s just how I was raised. Regardless, it’s never really made sense to me, because when I listened to that advice, I experienced negative scenario after negative scenario… Yet when I chose to hang out with those whom I wanted to, I was happier than I had been previously. Some of my best friendships have come from choosing to hang out with the “odd one out.” I don’t think I will ever understand (nor do I want to) the hate that people who look different or have different experiences get. Anyway, thanks for coming to my TED Talk. Have a wonderful day, and remember that kindness and love are free.
