Pride and Development
I haven’t been to a whole bunch of Prides in my life, considering I only really recognized my queerness and fully accepted it about three years ago, around 19 or 20; I can’t really remember. But I do remember that I started HRT right before I went to study abroad in France, smart move that one–but I will always say if I didn’t do it, then I don’t think I would have been alive to do it when I got back. But while in France, having estrogen start to take effect, and me realizing I was bisexual, I saw that in September, Pau was having a Pride parade. While odd, it’s mostly because the weather is better around then to have their parade, as opposed to June when it would be a lot rainier and more humid.
All that aside, it was my first Pride ever. Being in France and having just started my transition, figuring out how to dress, act, speak, and all the other learning curves that come with socially transitioning, made this Pride in a smallish French town stand out much more than the rest. Being surrounded with so many other queer people in all different parts of their lives felt so… special. What made this even more impactful was the fact that there weren’t any protesters or disapproval of the parade; in fact, many people in town looked out of their third, fourth, fifth story windows to fly their flag, watch, and laugh along with everyone else. Being around such a strongly supportive local community and with queer family made me feel much more secure in my identity.
But since then, the only Pride I’ve been to is the one in San Francisco. Albeit two years in a row, they were still very different points in my life and meant very different things to me each time. The first time going was mesmerizing, to say the least. The park where the parade started was crowded, and when I say crowded, I MEAN crowded. There was barely anywhere to sit, let alone stand. Music going, flags flying, so many queer people being out so loudly and proudly. And then the parade started, and it went pretty much until no one could parade anymore. This was my first time being in such a known queer capital of the world, much less the United States. While my pride in France was special, being able to see the sheer amount of us there that aren’t scared to be who we are, and being able to see that happening in my own country, gave me hope that one day everyone in the country can be just as proud as everyone in San Fran.
Now, this most recent Pride was similar to the last one, but even more than Pride, it was a protest. Under the current administration and people losing civil and social rights every which way, just existing so loudly and unapologetically made me realize how important that is. Being queer itself is an act of resistance. While in California, it’s obviously much safer to be queer than it is in many of the other states; it takes inspiration and courage to convince other places to enact the same number of rights and same level of safety that California guarantees. Openly defying what’s going on in our government not just vocally, but physically. And I hope to carry that back this year for Q-Fest, my life in general, and most importantly, my future. Be queer. Take up space. Be proud.
Whatever happens in the future, I know that queer communities will find a way through solidarity and their chosen families. We will continue to be ourselves no matter what, and nothing anyone can do can erase us if we don’t let them. While Pride started as an act of resistance, we must continue to remember that it must stay an act of resistance, and what resistance is can mean a lot of different things for different people. So, I encourage people to go to Prides and similar queer events, even if they’re just starting to figure themselves out. Many people have gone through similar events and people are always willing to help. Don’t let anything or anyone stop you from being yourself.
