Take. Me. Back.
The time I had the fortune of spending in San Francisco genuinely had a significant impact on me. It was filled with a lot of firsts for me (first time on the west coast, first time on a plane, etc.), and even if some of the things I did weren’t things I was doing for the first time, it was still all so different, and the experiences were heightened because of the atmosphere. I truly didn’t know what to expect from this trip going into it (despite the wonderful things I had heard from others who had done the immersion before). The entire adventure exceeded any expectations I might have had and left me with some wonderful memories (and trinkets).
The ways in which this experience has contributed to me as a queer person, my identity, and my relationships with other queer people is beautiful. Being in a city that so brazenly uplifts its vibrant queer community is inspiring. I have never felt so comfortable in and unashamed of myself than I have when I was in San Francisco. It was so freeing to naturally express myself the way I wish that I could every day. It was also so heartwarming to see the pure joy that my fellow cohort people felt in similar ways when we were in the city. It honestly makes me tear up thinking about how much I love everyone in this cohort and how grateful I am to have been able to share this experience with all of them.
The way that the San Francisco immersion shaped my identity became even more obvious once we returned than it had been while there. The culture shock of coming back to Wisconsin has really been weighing on me. It has only been a short time since we’ve been back, so I’m sure it will lessen over time, but it has me in a chokehold as of right now. There are things that I love about being back (of course including my cat and my bed) but coming back down to earth from the dream that was San Francisco has left me with compounded emotions.
There are certainly differences in my experience as a queer person in San Francisco and my experience as a queer person in Eau Claire; alongside those differences are similarities between these two worlds. This may seem like an obvious statement to make, but it’s a very different experience being somewhere you’ve lived your entire life and somewhere that you’ve never been before (especially when there are stark differences in cultures). The most notable difference between my experience as a queer person in San Francisco and my experience as a queer person in Eau Claire is my comfort and confidence in myself. I touched on how this felt for me in San Francisco, but in Eau Claire I very often lack the same comfort and confidence. One of the few spaces where I can get close to that is when I’m on campus, but even then I am still relatively reserved. The similarities I noticed are that people are still simultaneously lovely and flawed as well as that there are some of the same social issues in San Francisco as there are in Eau Claire. It is personally comforting to know that everyone everywhere is participating in advocacy all the time, whether they realize it or not.
I could honestly talk about San Francisco for hours (or, in this case, pages) on end. I can’t express enough how fantastic this immersion has been for me. I love films so much, and being queer is so ingrained into my being, so seeing the intersection of these two things that are important to me was new and exciting. I’m even more excited to continue working on our lineup for the Q-Fest program of films because I already know it’s going to be a great one. The film screeners that I have watched since coming back have been really good overall, so I know that it’s going to be difficult to finalize which ones will stay and which we will have to let go.
I sincerely hope that I’ll be able to experience this immersion again before I graduate, because it was so extraordinary and life-changing that I wish I could stay in that bubble forever. Unfortunately, I can’t do that. But I’d love to revisit that bubble all over again. Here’s hoping that I’ll get the chance to! For now, I’ll just reminisce on the time that I got to spend there and infuse that passion into my everyday life as much as I can. See you soon, San Francisco. I miss you already.
